Wow. It’s been a hot minute since I wrote a blog post. So much has gone on inside my life lately that I am not even sure where to start.
So lets start here I guess.
I am still not drinking.
266 days to be exact.
8 months and 24 days. Almost 8 months and 25 days.
That is ALMOST 9 MONTHS.
How freaking crazy is that?!
I could never have imagined myself here at this point. The last two months of my life have been completely bananas and more eventful than I wished, and not in a good way. But the urge to drink has subsided. Sometimes when I am having a super stressful day I will think, hmmm a beer sounds good, but never actually drink one. Because then I think about the hangover that would be coming and vomiting is something that I could literally never do again in my life and I would be one happy camper. Ha!
While life still feels like it is crumbling around me sometimes there is that little light at the end of the tunnel. Before I couldn’t see it but I knew it was there. I feel like I am coming out of some kind of brain fog lately and things have lifted off my shoulders. Which makes no sense because there are still parts of my life right now that are so uncertain that it is stupid.
But I do feel like that I am completely capable of handling anything one day at a time and one moment at a time. Whatever it is that I need to do. I have just been kind of letting the wind take me wherever it is going to take me these last few months and have just been along for the ride. And, while that was okay for a while, it was not working anymore. At some point I needed to take control and be serious about it.
I have learned so much this last year around mindset and some of it I just took at face value and never implemented it and some of it I tried to implement it but never gave it the good old college try. I would be like, well this is not really working, when I never really actually tried to do the damn thing. Or whatever they say. This last month I have really taken to heart speaking to myself in a positive manner and breathing life into my soul. I’ve been my own hype girl and it has really brought me back from some poisoning thoughts and mindset.
It has been heavy on my heart seeing so many women and young girls so worried about what others think about them or if someone is going to like them and if they don’t what do they need to change. I wish that all parents taught their girls that you need to love yourself and be comfortable with who you are and let that be enough. Change because you want to better yourself not because you want to dumb yourself down for that stupid boy. Change because you are ready to level up and become the best freaking version of yourself and not because you want the popular girls to like you. Even better, don’t try to change a damn thing about yourself and nurture and strengthen the parts of you that you love. What you focus on will continue to grow and manifest in your life. Please don’t let it make you miserable and put you on the fast track to societal acceptance. People can be assholes. Misery demands company. Don’t be the one to take a seat and live there.